They are my kids

I just read an article on adoption etiquette. Not only are some people insensitive about adoption but they're also insensitive about "step" parenting.

One of the things that people say the most is "Which ones are your real kids?"

There are days I want to respond with: "Well, can't you tell which ones are the plastic kids and real kids? I feed the real ones real food and the fake ones plastic food."

Of course I don't but I politely respond with a comment abouthow they're my kids but I only gave birth to 3 of them.

I had an awkward experience with this at WalMart the other weekend. I was finishing up some shopping and happened to walk by a lady I've known for a very long time but don't see frequently. As usual I had my 6 kids in tow. After a brief hello I was asked if they were ALL my kids. I put on a big smile, answered yes and they're so much fun. This is where it got awkward.

When Rob and I got married our kids ages interlocked. Kason 12, Kim 11(almost), Dallon 10, Bethany 9, AJ 8 and Colten 6. Kim and Dallon are actually about 7 months apart. I've gotten tired of explaining our family every time someone asks about my kids. Frankly, it's none of their business how our family works. I feed them, love them, and care for all of them on a daily basis. Therefore, they're all mine. Ok, back to my story.

This woman, who truly is a great person, gave me the most horrified look! In the look she had insinuated I had been quite the baby factory. I could tell she was curious and baffled at my lack of explaination. I left her there and went on my merry way with my children.

What I think people fail to realize is that we're not all traditional families. Some are blended kids and some are adopted. Either way, we're a family, just like yours. At home we don't remind the kids that they're not ours or "real". It's the people that ask inappropriate questions that tell our kids they don't fit. I know my kids fit, in my heart.

On the flip side, there are times that people recognize us as a family. My sweet visiting teacher noticed my daughter walking down the school hall and commented on it. She said that my daughter and I have the same spring in our step and our hair swings the same way. She could tell she belongs to me. This made my heart swell! She was really surprised when I mentioned that my daughter wasn't biologically mine. I didn't mind explaining to her. It warmed my heart that she didn't question my love or the fact that my daughter is mine even if we don't share the same DNA.

Adoption is an act of love on all parts. The parents showed unmeasurable love for the child by allowing another set of people to be active parents. Step parenting isn't any different and is as rewarding as any other form of parenting. As a good woman once mentioned...I'm not a "step" parent, I'm a BONUS parent.